I have been in abusive situations my whole life at so many levels. I’ve been through so much betrayal, physical and emotional abuse and paralyzing fear to the point when I woke up in the morning, I would have a knot in my stomach, making me feel like I wanted to get sick. Because I didn’t know what kind of day I would have, I was addicted to pain pills for many years and put my children through the pain of having to see me in this way and the shame and guilt that that brought me. Out of six children I have seen my daughter diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis at the age of thirteen and watching her go through many attacks that never left her the same. A son diagnosed with Fibro’s Dysplasia and I had to helplessly sit back and watch him go into the operating room to have a tumor removed from his brain. Then getting the heartbreaking diagnoses for my son and daughter (only sixteen months a part) that they had Autism, (which I like to call God-tism). Then my daughter who didn’t seem to have any health problems was secretly battling anxiety and panic attacks.
The stress and lack of sleep took a toll on me to where I was now having Grand Mal Seizures. As I was still struggling with many other things, like not being able to forgive my Mother for committing suicide when I was only nineteen. My sister dying from a prescription pill overdose along with many other family members. I could write so much more of the struggles my family has been through. But! That’s when I had the greatest encounter of my life with Jesus! In the last five years he has radically changed me at so many levels. He has brought so much healing and love that I never knew existed. I recently went through the biggest battle of my life in the last year. I had to learn how to forgive the one thing I told God I could never forgive someone for. But through that pain I found freedom! As I leaned into Jesus even more, this newfound thirst and hunger rose up in me and I wanted more, so much more. Knowing that there was a deeper level of healing that he still wanted to do in me to make me completely whole. And he did just that at Rancho Milagro.
I came to Rancho Milagro with great expectation. What I encountered through the horses far surpassed any expectation I could ever hope for. Even though I have come so far and have had so much healing, I knew that I needed a touch from heaven to bring more healing from the struggles of my most recent season. And I received just that! I literally got a touch from heaven and Holy Spirit completely wrecked me with his unconditional love through one amazing kindhearted, beautiful, loving horse. I feel like I have gained more wisdom and understanding of who God is and my identity in him because of The Rancho Milagro Foundation. I learned that God uses ALL of creation for his Glory and I can’t limit him in any way. And he can and will use anyone including horses to bring healing and complete wholeness to a person. I had the most amazing experience through all the horses along with Vanessa, Bob and Dave. I love how they allow Holy Spirit to do what he wants, when he wants and how he wants, to bring complete wholeness. Never in my life would I have ever thought that I would see the face of Jesus through a horse. It was truly one of the most amazing experiences of my life!